THE WHOLESOME FERTILITY PODCAST
EP 267 | Five Things You Should Look Into If You’re Trying To Conceive
On today's episode, I'm going to talk about five things you should look into if you're experiencing fertility challenges. And some of these things may actually provide answers if you have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. It’s important to note that this episode is not meant to give any medical advice and it is not meant to override what your healthcare provider has diagnosed you with or has advised you to do, but it is something that may help uncover a lot of questions that you have. So, staytuned.
In this episode I will go over:
-Common ways to uncover hidden reasons for unexplained infertility.
-Why your gut can be a key factorin your fertility health.
-What type of doctor you should choose to get baseline tests
Click here to save your spot in the Winter Cohort of The Wholesome Fertility Transformation! https://www.michelleoravitz.com/Fertility-Transformation-Group-Coaching
Pick up your free e-book mentioned in the podcast here:
https://www.michelleoravitz.com/making_the_clean_choice_for_fertility
For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus
Before I get to today's podcast episode, I have an exciting announcement to make. Over the past few months, I've been working very hard to create a program that gives you the main things you've been asking for. Hands on support for me, access to my proven foundational framework, and community and accountability.
Most importantly, I've created this program to take you off the roller coaster of your fertility struggles and give you the tools to transform your fertility in just eight weeks. I am honored to introduce you to The Wholesome Fertility Transformation. A live eight week coaching program designed to guide you through a proven, evidence based method of my signature program called The Wholesome Fertility Method. And that is the framework, but it will also provide hands on support with me to help you improve your chances of conceiving. So
I'll be running this program only four times a year, and each cohort is aligned with seasons, winter, spring, summer, and fall.
Because each season only supports 10 people, it will have limited spots available. I will be putting a link on the episode notes that you can find it, and if you're interested, I would definitely do it as soon as possible because I am limiting the amount of people because I want to make it an intimate experience for all the participants so that I'm really able to help each individual.
This program not only includes coaching calls, but it also has an initial onboarding call with me, which is a one on one. So it definitely. is catered to customize your specific needs and your specific questions. And I'm so excited to announce this. It is the first time ever that I'm doing this and it is open for a limited time.
So if you are interested and you've been listening to this podcast , and you feel aligned with the things that I've been sharing, this will be that times a thousand so it really is my heart and soul poured into a program. It's also something where I will be there live with you to walk you through and help you to absolutely boost your chances of conceiving.
And I work very hard to make sure that everybody I work with gets the most benefits and gets the outcome they signed up for. So I look forward to seeing you there!
Transcript:[00:00:00]
Welcome to the Wholesome Fertility Podcast. On today's episode, I'm going to talk about five things you should look into if you're experiencing fertility challenges. And some of these things may actually provide answers if you have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Now, this episode is not meant to giveany medical advice and it is not meant to override. What your healthcare provider has diagnosed you with or has advised you to do, but it is something that may help uncover a lot of questions that you have. So, stay tuned. So the following five things I'm going to be talking about are things that I think can help uncover, especially if you have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility.Number one, I'm going to talk about testing. So hopefully you guys have already been tested, but this is something that sometimes I do get patients and they're experiencing fertility challenges and to my surprise, they[00:01:00]haven't gotten baseline tests, which can really help a lot. Especially just to rule out anything major. So number one, I do suggest that everybody get baseline tests with their doctors.And most of the time. Either your OB will cover these tests, and a lot of times they do. A reproductive endocrinologist is a better choice just because they specialize in reproductive medicine. And the OBs usually do understand a little bit, but they're not as well versed as a reproductive endocrinologist.
And typically a reproductive endocrinologist will pay a little more attention to things like your thyroid and more anything really that has to do with fertility. So they are types of doctors that I recommend going to if you are experiencing fertility challenges, just because you're going to get a lot more of a[00:02:00]thorough workup.
And some of these baseline tests they usually do are day two, three of your period.And typically blood is drawn during that time. And they check for lots of different hormones, but that's where they find out your FSH and how high it is. And if that means that your ovaries aren't responding as well.
And then they also check typically a full thyroid panel.
So basically it's a bunch of different hormones that give a lot of insight to the doctor to figure out what's going on. And again, this is a baseline and typically this is really where a lot of doctors will start. Another thing that they will recommend, and it is a little bit more of a procedure, but it's not terrible.
It's not like they put you under, but an HSG to make sure that your tubes are clear.Again, it's a, bit of a procedure, it's not the most comfortable thing in the[00:03:00]world. But once it's over, typically, you should feel fine. And I do highly recommend doing that because You could look into everything and not figure out why things aren't working But then when you find out if your tubes are partially or fully blocked it's important for so many reasons because you need toknow if that's the reason why you're not conceiving and then it can also lead you into Looking into other things like was there pelvic inflammation, or you can also look into possibly endometriosis, like what could it be that's possibly blocking your tubes?
And that can kind of lead you into a whole host of other things, but things that are actually really important to look into. And also, if it's partially blocked, it can cause an increased chance of ectopic pregnancy, which is dangerous. And that's something that you really want to look into. So, those[00:04:00]are the reasons why I think it's really important to look into an HSG, because everything thatyou're doing, taking care of yourself, you can go to acupuncture, you could do lots of different natural ways of trying It's not going to make a difference if your tubes are blocked.
So that's something that's really important to look into. Typically they'll also do an ultrasound and that's where they'll look at like your number of follicles and how they're growing. If there are too many, which typically you'll see with PCOS andt hey call it polycystic ovary. And the cysts are actually lots of follicles that are growing, but they're not fully maturing and not fully ovulating.
So, that will also give you insight on which direction you should go into. And then also, let's not forget about the men, a semen analysis, and they also do ultrasounds, and they look into the sperm and how they're operating, if they're Shape is optimal, and that typically will be the morphology, the look at the number,[00:05:00]is it high enough to make a difference, and also the motility, how they move, and how much semen there is.
Sometimes they can be dehydrated and not have enough seminal fluid. So all those things are definitely important to look at and then with an ultrasound They'll look to make sure that all the parts are okay and like with women they'll look at like the tubes and men Sometimes they'll see that there's a varicose cell, which is basicallyAn enlarged vein that can cause issues with the sperm as well so it's important to really just get baselines for everybody and typically that will be covered with insurance and But that really, it depends on the office, it depends on the state, I don't know, like, or it depends on the type of insurance you have, but typically labs are covered by insurance and so that's number one.
You really want to rule out like the big stuff and that is with mainstream medicine[00:06:00] conventional medicine baseline testing you want to make sure that You just rule out like all the big things. So that's number one I think everybody should be doing this regardless if you end up wanting to get IVF or not I think a lot of people gethesitant about going to a fertility clinic because they think That that means they'regoingto do IVF. They may suggest IVF. You don't have to say yes or no you couldjust go and get the tests One thing that I can say is they will know what they'redoing as far as the testing goes So it is important to at least just gather informationand they will be better to go to them for information when it comes to fertilityThen your OB because your OB does a bunch of other things, but they're notspecifically specialized in fertility You want somebody who's specialized andreally understands what it meansand what the body's supposed to do And what isout of whack and what are things that are like red flags to pay attention to?So that's something that I definitely[00:07:00]suggest Number two, connected totesting, but functional testing, so that's a little bit different. It's a little bit more detailed, so for example, the Dutch test, that's something that I run. It stands for Dried Urine Test for Comprehensive Hormones, and it really is an amazing test. Ilove it. And all you have to do is really urinate at a certain time of the month, and that basically, they'll have you urinate at different times of the day so that they can see how your hormones fluctuate. That's really why this test is so superior is because Usually when you go and get tests, it's one snapshot at one time of the day and this test will take those snapshots throughout the day throughout to see like what is your waking cortisol and are you waking up enough?Do you possibly have signs of adrenal fatigue and sometimes[00:08:00] even though we're not diagnosing, sometimes you will see patterns that typically happen with low thyroid, but what that could do is it can alert. The person that you're working with or, you know, as a practitioner to go and get further tests done with your doctor. And also we can look into progesterone. So perhaps you might need progesterone.It also looks into how your estrogen is metabolizing in your body. And if you're estrogen dominant, if you have the right type of estrogen, your, your body's really processing it correctly. It also looks at your melatonin at night, which is really important. It's important for many different reasons, and it also looks into your DHEA and confirms if you're ovulating. So there's so many things that it does, and it even looks into certain nutrients that you have in your body. Like glutathione or B12.So, do you need to supplement with[00:09:00]more glutathione? It gives thepractitioner a little more detail and a little bit more guidance on how to treat youmore specifically.So, I highly recommend the Dutch test at least once. to really get a clear picture ofwhat's happening in your system. And then if it is imbalanced, I would definitelysuggest doing it again after a couple of months of implementing certain diet andsupplement regimens and lifestyle suggestions that your practitioner gives you.So that's definitely something that I would look into. So another thing that I highlysuggest from functional testing is food sensitivity tests. Because that's going tohelp you understand if there are certain foods that are irritating your system. If youare sensitive to foods that can cause inflammation, it basically is going to drainyour body because when your body is resistant to something and it's causing kindof like a hyper immunity,then it's going to drain the energy of your body.
And we don't[00:10:00]want that. That's number one. Number two, if you do endup getting more inflamed, then you're not going to be able to absorb nutrients correctly. You want your nutrient absorption. to be as efficient as possible because you want your energy, which happens from nutrient absorption. You want yourenergy to be as efficient as possible because conception takes a lot of energy.High energy is required for reproduction to occur. So that is definitely something that I would highly recommend and I think is very important. So related to that, I would definitely recommend, if you can, gut testing as well. And that you could doat home from a functional test for gut. And typically, you'll get a small sample ofthe stool. It's not as bad as it seems. You just take a little like sample of your poop.While you're wiping and then you send it you put it in a little vial and you[00:11:00]send it in and what that does is they check your microbiome, andtheycan also look at factors that contribute to inflammation in the body and I've workedwith people for months and then once we started to do, we've done a gut test.like months later, my patient decided she wanted to do it. Not everybody wants todo itbecause it is costly, but her choice to do it actually helped me as thepractitioner to see, to get more insight on shifting our supplements.And I'll be honest, that was huge. It was a key factor and it really did change a lotbecause she ended up getting pregnant. Like shortly after so it definitely helpedlower the inflammation. We got a little bit of a better Insight on what was going onin her gut and the guts really important when it comes to fertility health Somethingelse I recommend.This is another test which is often[00:12:00]ignored or Maybe not even ignoredpeople don't even know about it And that is vaginal microbiome testing. So,basically, it's a swab in the vagina and you basically send it in and it tests for themicrobiome of the vagina.Like, basically, if also not just the microbiome but alsothe acidity.And what they found is that there is a correlation, which is fascinating, withinflammation in the uterus. and an imbalanced vaginal microbiome. And there'salso a correlation betweenunexplained infertility and an imbalance of vaginalmicrobiome. And it's also linked with frequent miscarriages, and it's also linked with failed IVF transfers.So that is really, that was blew me away when I saw it. I remember going to Megasporobiotic, the company that makes it, it's[00:13:00] a probiotic that I highly recommend and the company that makes it, they're called Microbiome Labs, and I went one weekend and saw a bunch of speakers, one of which was Dr. JoleneBrighton, and she talked about this.She talked about the importance of vaginal microbiome, and I was floored becauseI couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe What it was connected to and all of thethings, I mean, just to think that women are going through months and months andmonths andmonths and not even realizing that this is the case or if they're trying toprepare their body for a transfer and not realizing that they need to protectthemselves and, and make sure that this is not an issue because they're spending somuch money.So that was fascinating. And another thing that I found fascinating was once Istarted learning more about this and implementing it. I had one patient who wasdoing her retrieval and transfer in Spain, and so she already did the[00:14:00]retrieval. She had eggs, and she was going to go for her transfer in Spain.In Spain, it is commonplace to check the vaginal microbiome, and they actuallyalways give vaginal suppositories, so that would be the solution if there is an issue,is vaginal suppositories that are probiotics. And that should start to regulate it. Soshe was getting ones from Spain. I was really fascinated.And interestingly enough, she ended up getting pregnant. So it was a successfultransfer, but I thought it was so fascinating that that is something that is so ignoredreally in the US. So that's something that I started. to a lot of my patients who arehaving unexplained infertility, frequent miscarriages or any kind of imbalance thatseems to point in that direction.So that's something that I definitely suggest looking into.And what these tests can do is provide more insight on what's going on, moreclarity,[00:15:00]really, to understand. So you're not guessing, and you're nottrying so many different things for so long, almost like a shot in the dark, withoutrealizing, like, really what's going on.And the difference with functional testing, I mean, the, I guess the con is thatthey're out of pocket. They're not really covered by insurance, but they're a lotmore sensitive to things that are often missed in conventional testing. So that Idefinitely recommend doing if you can. And then number three.
Look into your energy. So I touched on this a little bit on the functional testing about energy and how important it is to have energy when itcomes to conception.Conception is a very energy dependent process on your body and it needs a lot of fuel. A lot of fuel. And oftentimes, We are having energy leaks that we[00:16:00]don't even realize are goingon. And ask yourself, are you energy deficient? So, typically, if you feel especiallyafter eating, you feel really drained, there might be something that you need tolook into with your digestion.Or are you feeling drained at the end of the day? Are you getting enough sleep?Are you sleeping solid throughout the night? Or is it disrupted? It's not even aboutquantity, it's more about quality when it comes to sleep. Are there things orrelationships that are draining you emotionally? I'll be honest, emotions areincredibly taxing if there are like certain negative emotions that you're feeling orsadness or frustration with certain relationships and sometimes you might need toreally Make those boundaries firm so that you are not exposing yourself to thingsthat are very energy draining Especiallywhen you're going through this journey.So in this[00:17:00]journey, I always tell my patients my clients It's important toprotect yourself. It's important to protect your personal energy and You shouldn'thave to feel bad about it. So like if it meanslearning to say no, then that's what itmeans you have to learn to say no because ultimately, this is more important and ittakes priority over everything and sometimes that means you have to draw firmboundaries around yourself and you're around your spouse and just really protectyour own energy and not be around certain relationships or certain people orcertain things that can drain that energy.So, it's really important to look into your energy and I highly suggest Even startingto journal could be like a little energy journal prompt looking into what is drainingyou Are there certain things that you feel like you're putting up with and justwriting a[00:18:00]list and I remember doing that one time Because I had a coachthat was telling me to do thatLike what are the things that you are putting up with?I think that is such a great question What are things that you're putting up withbecause we all have things that we put up with and then just writing a list and then you can obviously Take out the ones that you can't not put up with. I mean, there's certain things that you just can't avoid. Okay. So that those are important things that you really can't escape, but then ask yourself, what are the things that you really don't need to be putting up with and how are ways that you can shut that down or close it off so that you won't have to put up with it?Because little by little, all that does is it really sheds light. on what it is in your life that's like sucking little bits of energy. So it could be little leaks. It doesn't have to be big. And I'll be honest, I'll give you one example, having a pile of clutter in the corner of your[00:19:00]room that you're like, you know, I'll get to this one day.living with that, every single time you see that clutter, it's going to leak a little bit of energy. So sometimes just taking that day out of your weekend and just saying, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to actually take care of this list. I'm going to get rid of these things that have been hanging over my head.And that is a way to close an energy leak. Creating boundaries with people that drain you. That is another way. Setting boundaries at work, that's another way. I mean, there's little things. Expressing yourself for something that has not been expressed or you've been afraid to express.It might be uncomfortable, but that's another way that you can protect your energy.Because when you are holding onto something that you're not expressing and that needs to be said, That could be draining your energy. That's just like holding on to something that's like slowly brewing and sucking your energy.So forgiveness, that's another way of protecting your energy. Letting go ofsomething, letting go of[00:20:00]certain resentments. I know it's very simplisticand it's not something that's going to happen overnight in certain cases, but theseare things to just keep in mind because it's almost like a great example is likeiPhone.All the things that are running in the background. Make it less energy efficient. It'snot going to function as well So what are the things that are lying in the background of your life and they could be on all levels that are making you?Drained so those are things to keep in mind. Are you also over exercising and thenI'm going toactually go into eating because that Definitely can impact if you're overeating that is not energy efficient if you're under eating that is not Energy efficient.So that takes us into number four, which is, are you eating enough or are you overeating? Are you eating what is good for your body? Are you eating energy richfoods? Are you eating processed foods, which are pretty much dead food in a package?[00:21:00]And yes, there are some freeze dried foods that are not so bad and they are made from whole foods.from real grown foods and they don't have tons of ingredients that you can't pronounce. So those are not so bad. They're kind of like in the middle, but are you eating things with lots of processing? Basically food that has no life or are youeating whole foods things that are nourishing your body?Things that your body's compatible with because it could be something that's grown that your body just doesn't respond well to. And that kind of takes us back.See, this is kind of everything's connected. It takes us back to the functional testing, the food sensitivities. Are you eating things that are right with your body?And truthfully, you can figure that out without necessarily having to do a test.Sometimes just writing a journal of how you feel when you eat certain foods, oreven just paying attention. Like, you know what, whenever I eat dairy, I havediarrhea. Well, that can't be[00:22:00]good. So like things like that, like how doesmy body Feel.Do I get really bloated after I eat bread? I was bloated for years and years andyears and I ignored that. And eventually I quit gluten and my energy shot up. Sothat's another thing. So like, are you eating the right foods? Are you eating avariety of foods? So the gut microbiome loves, again, we're makinganotherconnection.The gut microbiome loves variety. Trying to, you know, eating different things, eating different fibers, different like really the rainbow when it comes to your vegetables and your fruits and having healthy fats, having seeds, nuts, you know, things that feel good to your body and give you energy and also not overstuffing yourself because then your body can't absorb correctly your food.Are you taking time to chew when you are eating? When you're taking time to chew, you're helping your digestive system. You're pretty[00:23:00]much preparing it so that it's almost like that sous chef. You're the sous chef for your body's kitchen. And when you're chewing it, and properly chewing it, you're preparing it so that it's able to cook well and transform into nutrients that yourbody can use.So doing that plus obviously the chewing, but as you're chewing longer, you're alsomixing in that amazing enzyme rich saliva. which is also helping your digestion. So those are things that are really important to do. Making sure that you have areally good proper diet that is nourishing for your body.And I'll be honest, the diet alone can make such a difference for fertility health.Just the diet alone.So, on to number five, and this is The last one, and it's a very important one, isyour home clean of toxic ingredients?[00:24:00]And I'm going to mentionsomething before I even go into this. Nobody's going to get it 100%. So don't try,because that can cause a whole other level of OCD that I've seen. However, it isimportant enough, and it really does make a difference, that It is important enoughto bring up.There are many ways that Endocrine disruptors can come into our life and one ofthem which I see a lot is plastics If you can avoid all plastics andnot just the onesthat say BPA free Really try to avoid all plastics that being said if I'm away AndI'm pretty because I know all of this stuff. It does make me a little OCD, I guess,but if I'm away and all I can have is a plastic bottle of water, I have a plastic bottleof water.It's not like you have to do things 100 percent all the time because you don't wantto stress yourself out. It can be. too overwhelming.[00:25:00]But if you can,instead, at home at least, you can get yourself a container, a bottle that is glass orstainless steel, and then you can look into like green pan or like more non toxic Ihonestly, sometimes I'll just, green pan I'll have if I want to do something that'snonstick for certain foods, but for the most part, I will have stainless steel.I just cook with stainless steel. Those are great. There's a little trick to not makingit stick. You can actually put the stainless steel. Pan on the fire or like the stovetopfor a little while. You let it get to a certain level. One of the ways you can test isyou could take a drop of water and put it in.If the drop of water creates a bead. You can wipe it off really quick, and then thatis a perfect temperature. Then you can put the oil, and you can put even a chicken,and it will not stick. So the trick with that, with making it non stick, is to[00:26:00]let it heat, kind of like a fun fact, let it heat to a certain point.I actually remember seeing that online. You could find information, you can evenGoogle on YouTube if you really want to see exactly how to do it. You Google or you search on YouTube how to make a stainless steel pan non stick. And so that is the simplest way to have clean products. Ceramics are good too, so you have to just be aware of that and then there are certain ones that have been tested with less, the ceramics as far as plates, not having lead because there have been tested products that have shown that they do.So those are things that you can look into. And then, ingredients for products.There's many ways. There's ewg. org. You know, there's certain ways that you can look it up so that it's not as overwhelming. There are definitely ingredients that can be endocrine disruptors[00:27:00]to make it simple so that it's not as overwhelming I actually created an e book so you could check that out I'm going to put it in the episode notes and it's called making the clean choice for fertility whereI really outline Everything there. It'll also direct you to websites and resources where you can look up certain ingredients to see or products themselves to see what their rating is. So that's going to help a lot as well. So just to simplify it without getting into the details of unpronounceable words. That could be really overwhelming. Just check out my ebook cause it's free. It's got all the information and I will cover pretty much like the big ingredients to avoid and what to look forand how to make it really simple and easy. And the truth is once you do that, once you start to just.Change the ingredients of your products, then it's just going to get easier because you're just[00:28:00]reordering and then you just stay on one specific pattern. So it's not as hard as it seems. It becomes second nature, I promise. So those are the five things that I highly recommend looking into if you're trying to conceive.I think everybody should look into it and that is why I created this episode. I do hope you enjoy this episode and if you have any questions for me, you can always feel free to find me on Instagram. I'm there every day. You can DM me and myInstagram handle is at the wholesome lotus fertility. So thank you so much for tuning in today.
Have a beautiful day.
EP 266 Unexpecting – The Honest and Raw Experiences of Repeated Pregnancy Loss & Infertility | Tara Lipinski
Tara Lipinski, internationally acclaimed figure skater was catapulted onto the world's
stage when she won the gold medal at the 1998 Nagano Olympics – earning her the distinction as the youngest individual Gold Medalist in the history of the Winter Games. As the official correspondent and commentator for the Olympics, Tara was the primetime analyst for figure skating at the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing and hosted NBC’s coverage of the 2021 Summer Olympics closing ceremony in Tokyo. She has served as the host and commentator for many
NBC events such as the Kentucky Derby, the Superbowl, and the National Dog Show, as well as hosted Food Network’s Wedding Cake Championship. Released in January 2022, she produced a three-part docuseries for NBC’s streamer Peacock, entitled “Meddling: The Olympic Skating Scandal that Shocked the World.” Most recently she started a production company called May Fifth Productions with her husband, Director/Producer Todd Kapostasy.
Tara recently shared her own fertility journey struggles which you can hear about in her and her husband’s podcast “Unexpecting”. When I began listening to their podcast, I couldn’t stop! If you are on the fertility journey, you must give their podcast a listen!
Tara Lipinski, internationally acclaimed figure skater was catapulted onto the world's
stage when she won the gold medal at the 1998 Nagano Olympics – earning her the distinction as the youngest individual Gold Medalist in the history of the Winter Games. As the official correspondent and commentator for the Olympics, Tara was the primetime analyst for figure skating at the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing and hosted NBC’s coverage of the 2021 Summer Olympics closing ceremony in Tokyo. She has served as the host and commentator for many
NBC events such as the Kentucky Derby, the Superbowl, and the National Dog Show, as well as hosted Food Network’s Wedding Cake Championship. Released in January 2022, she produced a three-part docuseries for NBC’s streamer Peacock, entitled “Meddling: The Olympic Skating Scandal that Shocked the World.” Most recently she started a production company called May Fifth Productions with her husband, Director/Producer Todd Kapostasy.
Tara recently shared her own fertility journey struggles which you can hear about in her and her husband’s podcast “Unexpecting”. When I began listening to their podcast, I couldn’t stop! If you are on the fertility journey, you must give their podcast a listen!
Tara’s website: https://taralipinski.com
https://www.instagram.com/taralipinski
https://www.facebook.com/TaraLipinski
For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com
The Wholesome Fertility facebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/
Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/
Transcript:
Michelle: [00:00:00] Welcome to the podcast, Tara.
Tara: Hi, so excited to be here.
Michelle: I'm so excited to have you here. First of all, I'm a little starstruck. I actually remember the time when you were against Michelle Kwan. And I was like, Oh my God, I remember that. It was incredible. So, and first of all ice skating is my favorite winter sport. So
Tara: Good. That's a good thing. I love it. That's
Michelle: sure.
Michelle: And. So I know that your story has so many ups and downs and I've been listening to the podcast and I almost don't even want to get too into detail because I don't want to ruin it if people are going to listen to the podcast. Cause I literally was hanging on the edge to listen to the next one.
Michelle: And the next one, it really was like cliffhangers.
Tara: I know.
Michelle: And at the same time It was it definitely captured the emotion. I remember specifically episode 10. I was like bawling listening to that it was really really emotional and touching and [00:01:00] knowing your background and That you're a figure skater and that you're an athlete and just really what goes into being an athlete In that kind of competition and like the personal development that you have to have and the strength and it seems like nothing prepares you for this.
Tara: Nothing does and I think that Being an athlete and growing up as an athlete You just have this mentality that the harder you work the more effort you put in Then you'll achieve your dream. You will get results. And that's just not the case with a medical diagnosis or infertility. And that was a really hard lesson for me to learn and to accept, because I'm such a type A controlling person, if I'm being honest, where I want to have control over things in my life, that it was the first time where I realized, this is so out of my, hands, this is something that I can't control, and I had to really try to learn patience and acceptance and Realize that you can't just will yourself to [00:02:00] have a baby or, you know, to, to fight this awful path that sometimes people are put on when you get an unexplained infertility diagnosis or even any type of fertility diagnosis, it still can be a day to day struggle of trying to find out what's wrong and that's It's really hard to live in that anxiety inducing space.
Tara: And that's, you mentioned it with the podcast of sort of these cliffhangers. Our journey in particular felt like I was solving a mystery every single cycle and it's, it's life altering when that becomes your world.
Michelle: 100%. And I remember you mentioning also, even though you went to like the best RE and she was amazing. I mean, she really was like looking into everything. She's really honest with you. Even though you did that, it still wasn't like, you couldn't figure out that you actually needed to talk to an immunologist.[00:03:00]
Tara: Right, and it's because, you know, I, I think what's interesting about infertility is there's a large community and you hear, there are so many people that are experiencing pregnancy loss or going through infertility, but in the grand scheme of things. There still is a population that just gets pregnant very easily and you can have multiple children very easily without problems or complications.
Tara: And IVF isn't an exact science. So, as amazing as it is, and it's incredible that we ha I wouldn't have my daughter without IVF. So, it's incredible that we have this, but it also isn't a guaranteed. Result when you go into IVF, it's not like you are guaranteed a baby and I think doctors are just trying their best to Find the problem and I think when people go into IVF The great thing is is usually within two retrievals or two transfers You have positive results, [00:04:00] and that is great that those are the statistics, but there is a community out there where, where my husband and I fell into, where that's not the case.
Tara: We went through six failed transfers, we had four miscarriages, we did eight retrievals. And there's a world where you can be the best doctor in, in the world and not know exactly why my body isn't keeping a pregnancy. And, you know, my doctor says it. She said, I have tested you more than any other of my patients.
Tara: And we couldn't find an answer until the reproductive immunology result came about. And we finally got a little bit more information.
Michelle: yeah, and I remember like listening to your stories I loved listening to you and your husband and I love the connection that you guys have together and how you can infuse humor and you know in a time that is so difficult and just listening to like the rawness and the realness of the whole situation and I can feel the frustration like I was like like what what is it, you [00:05:00] know, cuz I'm like Following as you're going,
Tara: Right. And we just hit so many different obstacles, too, where then all of a sudden, you know, I had a septum that was a residual septum and you think, oh my goodness, we found the answer. And then you lose another embryo and, you know, it's just, it really is a rollercoaster ride when you're, you're part of this world.
Tara: It's traumatizing.
Michelle: sure. And also, I mean, you know, everybody wants that positive pregnancy, but then when you go through that positive pregnancy and every single time you're waiting for that heartbeat and you're going through the PTSD over and over and over again. It was just, it's traumatizing for sure.
Tara: It really is traumatizing and I think especially, I mean, obviously any type of loss, any type of miscarriage, but when you start having repeat or recurrent miscarriage, it really is like reliving that first trauma over and over again and it feels like the worst, you know, nightmarish movie [00:06:00] of deja vu playing out in front of you and it's, it's really hard to know how to cope and I, you know, obviously I, I started therapy, but.
Tara: You know, it's just dealing with grief and loss, and that's a lot to take on while also still pursuing and going down the road of trying to build a family through it all. So I think people that don't experience pregnancy loss or infertility or any of these types of journeys or IVF, that you don't really realize what this world entails and how there are no guarantees and how there are so many failures and there's so much.
Tara: grief and loss associated with every kind of failure that people are really struggling in this world, you know, emotionally and mentally, let alone the physical feats they have to put their body through.
Michelle: And also the fact that you are having to perform during this time and be out in the public. And I mean, yeah, it's like one thing to be a public figure, but then all of a sudden to actually [00:07:00] express your journey with the public is a whole different level of courage.
Tara: Yeah, it's terrifying. I remember for the first time, I've always been so open, but the, the night before the podcast came out and we released that we, you know, We're going to talk about this journey. It was just, you know, I was so nervous. I was so anxious. I felt so unsettled to just be sharing this information.
Tara: Just because also it's, it's a subject that's not talked about enough. It's a subject that's still, there's still shame and, silence that surrounds infertility and pregnancy loss and miscarriage. So it was really hard to just put it all out there.
Michelle: And so what was the final reason? I mean, obviously you probably wanted to get the story out there because you knew it was going to help a lot of people. I know it was hard for you because you were talking about how when you were speaking about it, one of the days you came home and you cried, you really felt it.
Michelle: And you're like, that's weird. I thought I was like, I dealt with this. And all of a sudden all these emotions are coming up. And then also [00:08:00] did you feel on some level, it was also healing to, to speak about it? Yeah.
Tara: I mean, of course, I want to help people and connect people. But I think it was something that Todd and I went through together that was, you know, very traumatic. And of course, we had tried to process all the feelings as they were happening, but that's hard to do. And I think for us, it was really nice to sit down and do this together alone.
Tara: You know, there was no one else. You know part of this podcast but the two of us and to reflect back and to Really see it all laid out. And I think Todd said it in one episode where he just said, you know, you go through it and you're always getting to that next step. But when we started to plan out this podcast and write it down on cards, we really realized all that we had been through and it was healing for us to talk about it and I guess sort of even just honor our own journey and all the embryos we lost and, kind of come to terms with this was five years of our life. And at a certain point, another reason I wanted to do it was it just. It's [00:09:00] one thing to be like, oh, I went through IVF and had a loss and then had a baby and I don't really need to go into detail with the world about it, but this was such a huge, life changing, life altering thing that happened to us that I think it would have always felt very strange to just not share that part of my life and let people in on exactly what was happening.
Michelle: Yeah. And I'll be honest. I mean, it's, it's a big thing. It's not easy to do that at all. Like even, if it's just sharing, a lot of people don't even share it to their families
Tara: And that's fine. And I think that's another thing that I continue to say is like, protect your heart. And if you don't want to talk about it, you don't want to share, you don't have to. And there was a reason I didn't for five years because I really was not able to cope with sharing and continuing.
Tara: Treatment and trying to figure out my own emotions. It was way too overwhelming to share with people and I think that's okay as well
Michelle: 100%. And I think that you [00:10:00] really do have to be ready for anything. And I like that you mentioned that a lot in the podcast, you talked about if people don't feel comfortable with this, that is their journey and it has to be a personal thing. So I thought it was really important to mention.
Michelle: And one thing that actually struck me is the fact that you didn't get your period until 25, that was like, wow, like nobody said anything to you at that point.
Tara: no I brought that up because I just think it's it's it's an important topic of just women's reproductive health in general how So little we actually know and so little is being tested for us throughout our twenties or thirties when it comes to fertility or really the education there for us about fertility and, you know, making informed decisions about, you know, family building for me, getting my period so late, didn't have an impact on my journey and, and wasn't any part of the reason for IVF I didn't go into it because it was [00:11:00] just very long winded in the podcast, but I simultaneously were, I was having a ton of other symptoms and we found out that I had a pituitary disorder.
Tara: So we had to, I went on medication, thyroid medication and we sort of addressed that with other medications as well and it immediately brought on my cycle. But it goes to show that. You know, when it comes to women's health, something like that probably would have been found way sooner if people were actually concerned about why, you know, that wasn't happening for me.
Tara: And I think sometimes it's like, Oh, it's, it's okay. Or it could be because she's an athlete or Oh, it's, you know, periods are, cycles are, sort of, you know, they can be mysterious, but clearly there was a, an underlying problem and thank goodness we found that, because that could have affected my health in other ways, too.
Tara: You know, but I was diagnosed with secondary pituitary thyroid disease as well when we found this, which was obviously, [00:12:00] affecting my, hormones.
Michelle: One of the things too you mentioned is is going to the OB at first and then the OB is not having like the same information as the REs.
Michelle: That's a big thing because a lot of times people won't know. that there's a reproductive endocrinologist and sometimes they'll think, okay, I'm not, I don't need IVF, so I shouldn't go. But it's something I mentioned a lot is just really uncovering. They understand fertility it's a little more specialized.
Tara: Yes, I think to just in general, like I'm saying, whether it's women's reproductive health or fertility, it's so crazy that in 2023, we don't know so many things that would help us make, different informed decisions about our life. And I just think for, me, even just waiting until my late thirties to begin the process of family building is interesting for me to think about just because. I, I never even thought to do it sooner.
Michelle: And also, when you were taking us through your journey, it's interesting to kind of note that like, initially , you were, [00:13:00] looking into the surgery for the endometriosis, but then you're like, no, and you were reading about it. And. And you were like, definitely no, like a no on that.
Michelle: And then you eventually changed your mind and then you were like, thank God I did it. But what I, what was interesting about it is that that's kind of how life is. you change your mind, you look more into things. You realize that even though you make decision, it can change and that's okay.
Michelle: And so that was interesting. And then similar with having a surrogate.
Tara: Yes. I think for us at that point you know, that wasn't the first, journey that I ever expected that we'd be on towards, our daughter. But when you go through so much for five years, you get to a point where you stop worrying about the experience of, for me, at least I stopped worrying about the experience of pregnancy that I wanted so badly.
Tara: And I had already experience for pregnancies and sort of the charm of it all was taken away from me. And it would've been lovely if I could innocently go through a pregnancy [00:14:00] and, birth a child, but that just isn't my story and it finally got to the point where I realized I wanted to get to the next step of actually having a family instead of focusing on this nine month experience.
Michelle: Yeah, it's interesting how things play out but you did mention when you were going into the surrogate process That's like a whole other animal and you were also saying which is something that really struck me is you vibed with The surrogate.
Michelle: You just knew it was like an intuitive knowing or feeling like, Oh my God, this, this is it. You found alignment.
Tara: Yes, and I think for me, it was one of the best blessings that has come along in our journey. Not only just, you know, a surrogate in general, that we're so lucky to have surrogates who can, help families or people or women going through infertility or pregnancy loss, but to find someone who I really connected with.
Tara: And to find someone that we had [00:15:00] this communication, daily communication, and we had this, this feeling of being teammates was just super special. You
Michelle: Even though you had a surrogate, you still went through that initial fear. That was like the one feeling that you had and then eventually tapered down, like, once the tests came and everything was like looking
Tara: It really was in the beginning so hard because it was the ultimate test, right? We had these, these genetically normal embryos that weren't working in me and now we take that variable out of the mix and we have a surrogate and we kind of felt this pressure of if it doesn't work, which of course there's a chance it wouldn't, but it really felt like there was so much hanging on this actually working to prove that, you know, our embryos were able.
Tara: To produce a baby, finally, we kind of knew that it was probably the immunology [00:16:00] in my body, but now is the ultimate test and the anxiety just leading up to that was, was so overwhelming.
Michelle: I mean, I felt it, I felt it listening to you guys and I felt it following your story. You could, you could really feel it, but of course you can't feel it like you guys felt it. But I felt what it must've been like to go through that because that's all you've known in the past. So it's hard to see a different future when something like.
Michelle: Has repeatedly happened over and over and over again, so I can completely see how petrifying it could be.
Tara: Right. And it's just, you know, what do you do then? You know, we have tried and exhausted so many options. We were just getting to the point of,, I think it was just the sitting with the fear of like, Can this be a possibility for us? Because if this doesn't work, where do we go next?
Michelle: And then you were also simultaneously performing around that same time, which is the most like
Tara: Right. And,
Michelle: that you felt
Tara: right. And to be keeping that [00:17:00] a secret as well just felt and I think that's why we did the podcast because at a certain point it just felt like, all right, Tara, just, just share because it's so hard to keep the sadness and pain and put on a smile and pretend like life is okay. When it's really not.
Michelle: and you've had people approach you guys and mention or say certain comments during this journey. That you guys were having to deal with while you were going through this simultaneously.
Tara: Right, and you, you, I think anyone in the infertility world experiences these feelings or during pregnancy loss or again, just an IVF journey, whatever it may be, unless you really walk in those shoes, it's hard to explain the feelings that you have and then to know that. You know, your family or your friends may not truly understand the pain you're in can make it even more isolating or make you feel even more alone.[00:18:00]
Michelle: That's one of the reasons why I find like communities or people that really understand where you're coming from or going through it as well can be so healing and I noticed also you were mentioning that it brought you and your husband so close on a different type of bond
Tara: we did, and we went through, you know, hard times through infertility trying to understand where he was at, where I was at, you know, at one point, I think he was really rethinking how much he, he wanted to continue, whereas I was, you know, desperate to continue, and we had to figure out how to get on the same page a lot of times.
Tara: And I think infertility has helped us now, even as we move forward in life and marriage find ways to understand each other and know what each other really needs in that moment and to be able to support them because it's hard when you're going through loss or infertility to always be on the same page.
Tara: But I also think the podcast has helped us too, as we had to relive all of these moments in detail and [00:19:00] not skim over them kind of like we were doing in real life. To kind of go back in and even re examine them even more and I think that's brought us closer You know, we'd finish these episodes and feel Very close and bonded obviously through what we just talked about or what we went through
Michelle: I think that was just one of the amazing things about it because you don't often hear the couple, both. Talking about their different perspectives and really hearing what they went through throughout the process.
Michelle: And then you do feel at times where you guys have different emotions or dealing with it in different ways. So I thought that brought more realness to the whole.
Tara: Right. I'm so glad ty was able to be part of this and add his perspective because I think any partner in this situation has a lot of feelings if they're the one not going through the treatment and You know, they probably feel that they have to support their partner, but they're also feeling so many emotions and [00:20:00] they probably don't understand exactly what their partner is going through.
Tara: So I hope that the podcast was able to open up those conversations or if partners listen together to, to really relate or. To re examine or think about what that other person is going through to see how they can support them even more.
Michelle: No doubt. And for people listening that are still on the journey and they're still in the unknown what words would you like to share with them?
Tara: You know, I never really have an advice because I don't know if I have any perfect answers and I, every time I went through it I just tried to do the best I could. And my advice would be to feel all the feelings and none of your feelings that you're feeling are abnormal. And the thing I would like to say is.
Tara: More than anything, I, I see you, I hear you, I understand you. I may not know you, you may be a stranger, but we probably have a [00:21:00] shared experience that creates a bond more than, you know, many people I know in my life because we've gone and walked down this road, and I know what you're going through, and I know that type of pain, and you know, looking back at my career, the Olympics, of course, I'm proud of the things I have done, but I'm very proud of being able to get through pregnancy loss or IVF Or infertility.
Tara: And those are maybe my proudest moments. So I just hope that everyone listening knows how strong they are and how proud they should be because success of a live birth is you know, one dream that people have. But you are accomplishing so many little things, even through all of those failures and losses by just being able Yeah.
Tara: To get up the next day and start again, or maybe making the decision of, no, this is no longer for us. I've learned so much through this process, but I need to take care of myself in a different way.
Michelle: Yeah, that's beautiful. [00:22:00] And for people who want to find you, and of course, I'm sure a lot of people are already following you, but what is your, the best way for people to reach out to you? Cause you had mentioned DMs, right? Sometimes
Tara: Yes.
Michelle: going through,
Tara: Through the podcast, I've
Michelle: I know that must be overwhelming DMs, but
Tara: little overwhelming, but responding to so many DMs and connecting with all of these beautiful people, which has been so meaningful, but you can find us on Unexpecting Pod on Instagram or Tara Lipinski at Instagram, and then of course Unexpecting is on Apple, Spotify, anywhere you find your podcast, iHeart, as well as my YouTube, which is Tara Lipinski.
Michelle: awesome. Tara, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. And of course I. Suggest for everybody to listen to unexpecting. It is incredible. It's amazing. It's all the details. It's everything. It really is everything So I highly recommend. Oh, I loved I really enjoy it. I really did I really enjoy it and I couldn't stop listening to
Tara: Yeah, I love it.
Michelle: I want [00:23:00] to hear it happens. And I felt like, I really got to know you and your husband and the connection that you guys had together and it was just really special. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast and it was such a pleasure talking to you today.
Tara: Thank you so much.
#159 “One Pound, Twelve Ounces”, a Story of Tragedy, Strength, and Triumph | Melissa Harris
Doctors told Melissa Harris she may never have another child. After nine surgeries, years of fertility treatments and a heartbreaking miscarriage of twins, she brought micro-preemie Sam into the world. His fight for survival, alongside his persevering mother's, is the subject of inspiration in Melissa's new memoir ONE POUND, TWELVE OUNCES (Nov. 2, 2021, She Writes Press), a non-medical, non-religious look at premature birth and miscarriage.
Melissa is now a work-from-home account manager for two virtual creative agencies in the Bay Area. In her free time, she drives kids from activities to appointments to playdates, volunteers at the neonatal intensive care unit at Alta Bates Hospital where Sam was born, and helps her congresswoman fight for better health care for all Americans.
For more information, visit Melissa’s website, https://melissaharrisauthor.com/ .
https://www.facebook.com/melissaharrisauthor
https://www.instagram.com/melragent/
For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com
The Wholesome Fertility facebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/
Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility
# 149 Navigating Grief with After Chloe Founder Melo Garcia
Melo Garcia, a grief specialist, assisting those who have lost what isn't replaceable by creating After Chloe, an online community and resource space that provide support, resources, and assistance through the difficult grief journey. And to find a way not only to process the pain of loss and grief but to incorporate grieving and living to find a life of living after loss. Melo started and cultivated After Chloe in 2015, with the idea to give the griever a feeling of community and to know that his/her opinions are, in fact, not only valid but that anyone can create a roadmap to find his/her way after the loss.
Melo created AfterChloe.com in honor of her daughter Chloe who passed away in 2011, and after losing both her parents.
And felt it necessary to help others deal with the grief and losses life present from death, divorce, identity, age, fertility, and empty-nesting by creating various types of solutions that the grieving finds a life worth living and to speak your grief in your way, a way that will assist you and inspire you to live and grieve
https://www.instagram.com/afterchloe/
For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com
The Wholesome Fertility facebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/
Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility
#139 Miscarriage Hope Desk’s Allison Schaaf Shares Her Journey of Loss and Hope
Allison Schaaf is the founder of Miscarriage Hope Desk, created as the resource she wanted during her years-long struggle with infertility, including a total of 5 miscarriages.
Miscarriage Hope Desk provides evidence-based research articles, stories of hope and community for those struggling with recurrent loss.
Allison has a background as a chef and dietitian and is also a serial entrepreneur. She founded the meal planning website, PrepDish.com which helps busy moms get healthy, delicious meals on the table!
Allison currently lives in the Texas Hill Country about 1 hour outside of Austin, TX with her husband, 2 sons, 2 cats, 24 chickens and a few bee hives.
https://miscarriagehopedesk.com
https://www.instagram.com/miscarriagehopedesk/
https://www.instagram.com/prepdish/
For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com
The Wholesome Fertility facebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/
Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility
#72 Unbroken: An Important Conversation about Miscarriage and the Fertility Journey with Reproductive Endocrinologist Dr. Lora Shahine
Lora Shahine, MD, FACOG is a reproductive endocrinologist currently practicing at Pacific NW Fertility and IVF Specialists in Seattle.
Lora Shahine, MD, FACOG is a reproductive endocrinologist currently practicing at Pacific NW Fertility and IVF Specialists in Seattle. Originally from North Carolina, Dr. Shahine graduated with a Bachelor of Science in biology from Georgetown University in Washington, DC, and completed her training in medical school at Wake Forest University School of Medicine, residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the University of California at San Francisco, and fellowship in reproductive endocrinology and infertility at Stanford University. As Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Washington and Director of the Center of Recurrent Pregnancy Loss at Pacific NW Fertility, she is committed to providing excellence in patient care, teaching the next generation of women’s healthcare providers, and continuing research in the fields of fertility and recurrent miscarriage. She has published over 50 peer-reviewed research projects and is an active member of the Early Pregnancy Special Interest Group of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, Seattle Gynecology Society, and the Babyquest Fertility Grant organization. Dr. Shahine is an accomplished author of her own blog and 3 patient-centered books on an integrative approach to fertility care and recurrent miscarriage, including her best-selling book, Not Broken. She is passionate about patient education and changing the conversation surrounding infertility and miscarriage from one of shame and guilt to one of support and empowerment.
Learn more http://drlorashahine.com and connect @drlorashahine Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.