Recurrent Miscarriage: 10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before My 5 Miscarriages

My path to build a family was not what I expected. It has included a total of 5 miscarriages, an adoption, and a failed IVF cycle.  And on top of that, I am thrilled to be currently 34 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy.  There is so much I wish I could go back and tell myself years ago when I started my journey to build a family! 

My struggles with recurrent miscarriage have taught me so much and here are 10 things I wish I could tell myself as I was just starting out on this journey. 

1)      Allow Time to Grieve

I have often felt like I was running out of time when it comes to fertility, but one lesson I have learned is that skipping over the grieving phase after a miscarriage is simply not an option.  In order to move forward and make decisions, it has been important to allow myself time and space to first grieve. Otherwise, I am not ready to make a decision or might rush into a decision.  

2)      My Husband Grieves Differently

This one took me a few miscarriages in to truly understand. First, I myself grieved differently with each miscarriage, each one was unique and had it’s on set of circumstances, disappointments and struggles.  And then on top of that, my husband and I have completely different ways of expressing and going through grief.  At times, it felt like he wasn’t grieving. I didn’t see in him the tears and overt expression of emotions that I was displaying. It was through couples therapy that I came to understand and even appreciate our different ways of experiencing and expressing grief. 

3)      Pinpointing a Cause is Unlikely (but still worth exploring)

Knowing the exact cause of a miscarriage is not always possible and in most cases knowing the cause with certainty is impossible. This can be hard to accept. Over the years, my mind has tried to rationalize and find certainty, even when it is not possible. Ultimately, I’ve learned to accept that there is an aspect of the unknown in most miscarriages and to be ok with that.  

4)      Request More Testing

While knowing a cause with 100% certainty may be impossible, I found asking why and doing the research and testing worthwhile. Over the years, we uncovered potential factors that may have contributed to my miscarriages. One of these was a blood clotting issue I have, called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS). APS has a very specific protocol that I have followed to help ensure a healthy pregnancy.  We also found out my husband has fragmented DNA on his sperm.  Being able to help control for these two factors in future pregnancies is part of what I believe led to a healthy, full term pregnancy.  This is why I recommend advocating for yourself, pushing for more testing when you feel it is warranted and including your husband or partner in that testing.  

5)      Do what feels right for you! 

There is SO much you can do to help with your fertility. For me, I tired a lot of different things and stuck with the pieces that I felt were helpful at the time. A lot of times i found that finding the right person to help me was just as important, if not more, than the modality I selected.  A few things to consider- 

-   acupuncture

-   meditation 

-   diet modifications

-   Mayan abdominal massage

-   therapy and/or couples therapy

-   yoga

-   chiropractic work

My main caution with this piece is to not try and do it all, find the thing (or a few things) that feel right for you.  Go with your gut on this one.  

6)      Find your people  (you are NOT alone!)

I always felt very alone in what I was experiencing, but I’ve now come to learn that there are plenty of women out there with very similar struggles. I found it useful to connect with others either through in person groups as well as online.  I have a group specific for those going through miscarriage, linked here. I would encourage you to go and and find your people, too. A great place to start is Facebook.  Depending on your location, you may find there are also a lot of great local, in-person support groups. 

7)      Furry Friends Help! 

For me, this was my cats! If you do not have pets, I would highly recommend looking into and finding the right fit for you. My cats provide me with so much love and comfort, especially when I am having a tough time. 

8)       Struggle Creates Gratitude

For me, the newborn phase with my son was a breeze. I think there is something to years of struggle to make you appreciate a baby on a whole new level. I have enjoyed motherhood and because of what it took to get here, I feel I appreciate the small things just that much more than I would otherwise. I am also able to deal with the difficult times and let small things slide because gratitude is at the root of my experience.  

9) There is More than One Way Forward

This one is so key and for me is one of the reasons behind me creating Miscarriage Hope Desk. In the moment, I often felt like my options were limited and bleak, but I was able to step back during key parts of my journey and realize that I always had a choice and multiple options.  With this perspective, I was able to select an option that felt right to me and my husband and not feel forced into anything. 

10) The Ending

What I really wish I’d known before I set out on my journey to build my family was the ending. If I knew just how beautiful it would be in the end, i would have known from the beginning it was all worthwhile. 

5 Ways to Boost Sperm Health

Many couples that I have seen have overlooked sperm health at the beginning of their fertility journey.  Approximately 40-50% of fertility challenges is due to “male factor” infertility.  About 2% of all men exhibit suboptimal sperm parameters.  

Based on the most recent World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines, experts consider a healthful sperm count to be 15 million per milliliter (ml), or at least 39 million per ejaculate.
Doctors consider a sperm count under 15 million per ml abnormal and can result in male fertility challenges.

The markers of sperm health include:

Sperm Motility: Sperm mobility refers to sperm movements. Sperms must be able to swim to reach and fertilize the egg.

Semen Volume: A minimum volume is required to carry the sperms through the female reproductive region. A normal semen volume ranges from 2 to 5ml per ejaculation.

Sperm morphology: The average ideal size and shape of sperm cell in a sample.

Sperm Count: The concentration of sperm cells per ejaculation.

There are many contributing factors that can impair male fertility.  Some factors to consider are genetics defects, STD’s, Varicocele (enlarged veins in the testes), alcohol, smoking, drug use, poor diet, obesity, stress, EMF’s, and cell phone radiation.

Just as it does with women, reproductive health is a reflection of overall health and wellness.  

The following are some natural ways to increase sperm count:

1. Get enough exercise and sleep:  Sleep is very restorative for the hormonal balance and production and is needed in order to produce healthy sperm.  Sperm health has been shown to be impaired by sleep deprivation and a late bedtime schedule. Exercise is also an important factor in sperm health and overall vitality.  However, over exercise can deplete the body and as a result impair reproductive health. 

2. Make sure you are getting proper amounts of vitamin D:  Vitamin D has been linked to sperm quality and is a very important vitamin to supplement for male reproductive health (as well as female).  Not only is it important to supplement with vitamin D, but it’s also important to get enough sunlight.  If you live in a warm climate, it is safest to get sunlight before 8:30 or 9 am.  This is the best time to soak up the sun and it also increases “yang” energy which is essential for male reproductive health.

3. Avoid excessive alcohol or smoking:  Alcohol has been shown to negatively impact sperm count, shape, and motility.  Excessive drinking is defined by the CDC as 5 or more drinks within 2-3 hours or on one occasion. Smoking has been shown to lower semen volumes, sperm counts, and motility percentage compared to men who do not smoke. 

4.  Increase anti-oxidant consumption:  30-80% of infertility cases are due to oxidative stress and decreased total antioxidant capacity in seminal levels.  Studies were done on various antioxidant supplement effects on male infertility, DNA fragmentation, low sperm count, subfertility, sperm motility, concentration, and morphology.  Vitamin C and E which are powerful antioxidants have been shown to improve sperm motility and morphology.  L-Carnitine has been shown to improve sperm count.  CoQ10 has been shown to improve sperm concentration and motility.  Selenium has been shown to improve sperm counts, concentration, motility and morphology.  N-Acetyl-cysteine has been shown to increase serum testosterone.  Antioxidants can be absorbed in foods such as blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, dark chocolate, pecans, kale, goji berries among others. 

5.  Consider Ashwagandha: Ashwagandha is an adaptogenic herb that is used as a tonic and a stress reliever.  Clinical evidence shows a significantly increased sperm concentration and overall motility.  It also has been shown to increase the semen volume.  Besides sperm improvement, testosterone and LH serum levels increased for those with suboptimal testosterone levels before taking Ashwagandha.

Foods that have a wide range of health benefits that may also benefit sperm count include:

·       Walnuts

·       Citrus fruits

·       Whole grains

·       Most fish, especially wild salmon, cod, and sardines

·       Dark chocolate

·       Garlic

·       Bananas

·       Broccoli: A green vegetable full of folic acid.

·       Spinach

·       Turmeric Super high in Vitamin C

·       Asparagus: Super high in Vitamin C

·       Nuts and seeds

As in any case of fertility challenge, it is important to get the proper labs and semen analysis when looking into male fertility health.  It is essential to rule out any underlying conditions such as varicocele or genetic conditions.  Living a life of healthy practices such as a whole foods diet, the right amount of exercise, and a proper supplement regimen can help improve sperm health.  With that being said, it is wise to reach out to a healthcare practitioner before implementing any type of new diet and supplemental regimen.  

5 Questions to ask yourself when trying to conceive

The fertility journey can prove to be a real rollercoaster when it comes to emotions and personal energy! There are so many factors to consider and while I recommend that all couples go and rule out any underlying conditions, I wanted to share some important things to consider that many may not think about when they first start trying to conceive.  

We all learn in high school the false idea that we can get pregnant at any time in the cycle (eye roll).  And we eventually learn that this can’t be farther from the truth!!  The truth is, there are so many factors that need to align in order for conception to occur.  Here are just five things to consider when trying to conceive that may be affecting your chances.

1.     Are you ovulating and if so, when?  

The reality: no ovulation =  no pregnancy.  This is why the menstrual cycle as a whole is so pivotal in regard to conception.  Ovulation is the process in which the follicle releases the most viable egg monthly, and without this process there will be no egg to fertilize. Many people can have monthly bleeds without ovulating.  And many people may have positive OPK tests without ovulating.  This can become very confusing because what that means is that your body istrying to ovulate by releasing LH from the pituitary gland, and it doesn’t confirm that your ovaries responded to the LH or the FSH.  One of the best ways to confirm this is by tracking your basal body temperature – you can find details on how to do this in my fertility resources page.  By tracking your temperature you will not only see if you are ovulating, you will also see when.  Many people who have a regular 28-day cycle may assume that they are ovulating on day 14.  But this is not always the case – some may ovulate early, and some may ovulate late.  Your fertile window is about 4-5 days before ovulation so it’s important to know when that occurs.

2.     Do you have food sensitivities?  

Food sensitivities can greatly impact your chances of conceiving!  Inflammation is one of the factors that may not only prevent implantation but also contribute to miscarriages.  It is important therefore that inflammation is kept to a minimum.  This can be done through diet and supplements but first it’s important to see if there is a food that is causing inflammation and sensitivity.  Many cases of unexplained infertility are linked to women having celiac disease.  Celiac disease is a type of autoimmune condition where the small intestine becomes damaged from the body’s reaction to consuming gluten.  The issue with celiac disease is that it can present in so many ways with a range of symptoms, so it may not be easy to recognize and needs to be tested with a physician.  Another condition that may get exacerbated with food sensitivities is Hashimoto’s thyroiditis.  Similarly, gluten among other foods can worsen the condition – which can in turn impact fertility adversely.

3.     How is your dental and gum health?  

This one may seem surprising, but there is a link between dental health and fertility.  We know that gum health can impact inflammation not only in gums but systemically.  It has been known to contribute to other conditions such as type II diabetes and heart disease.  It is now also being linked to fertility health!  As written above, inflammation is not beneficial when trying to conceive and is important to keep to a minimum.  This is a simple solution – brush well morning and night (and after meals if you’re disciplined!) and make sure to floss daily!  I also recommend a good neem toothpaste and mouthwash.  Oil pulling (an ayurvedic practice) is also a great way to keep the mouth and gums clean and healthy!

4.     Are you deficient in supplements?  

Studies have linked unexplained infertility to deficiency in vitamins.  I wouldn’t recommend randomly supplementing without first speaking to a licensed practitioner.  But you can easily start with a good prenatal.  Keep in mind though, not all prenatal vitamins are created equal!  Many companies are not third party tested and what that means is, since vitamins are not FDA regulated – you cannot be sure that they really have the ingredients they claim to have.  There are other companies that are third party tested, which means that they hire a separate company to test their quality to show practitioners that they adhere to high quality standards.  Another thing that I personally prefer is that prenatal vitamins have methylfolate instead of folic acid.  Folic acid is synthetic and is harmful for people who have the MTHFR gene mutation.  Since not many people get tested, it is best for all to simply avoid folic acid.  I have a list of recommended prenatal vitamins on my fertility resource page. 

5.     Are you well rested? 

Did you know that sleep can help you not only recharge, but regulate and metabolize hormones?  Sleep is vital when trying to conceive!  It also reduces overall stress and helps you focus on important daily tasks and decisions (there are so many decisions people who are on the fertility journey need to make!).  One of the ways in which sleep can be improved is by regulating the circadian rhythm.  It gets regulated by daylight as well as darkness at night.  What can confuse your inner cycle is artificial light at night.  This can be regulated by reducing screen time in the evening and allowing an hour or two before sleep to be in a dim environment which is not too bright.  You can also find a sleep hypnosis audio here for suggestions on deep sleep.  

These five questions may not be as obvious when you first begin the journey, but they can really make a difference in how your journey progresses!  If you want more in depth support I am happy to jump on a discovery call with you!

Fertility Yoga & Acupuncture: A Winning Combo

Shared Origins

Yoga and acupuncture both have deep roots, originating in Asia and dating back thousands of years. Acupuncture is based in Traditional Chinese Medicine, while the foundation of yoga is Ayurvedic Medicine. These two forms of energy medicine have evolved and cross pollinated over the centuries, especially as they’ve moved from East to West. Both yoga and acupuncture focus on healing and maintaining optimal health by removing energy blockages, releasing excess energy and generally supporting good energy flow. Known as qi in TCM, practitioners use various tools such as needles and massage to help move energy along meridian lines in the body. In yoga, the life force or energy is known as prana. Movement, breathing and meditation are used to move energy and create balance in the body.

I have personally witnessed the power of these two forms of energy medicine coming together in supporting women who are trying to conceive. I have 20+ years of experience in the healing arts and for over a decade II have worked with women in a fertility clinic setting. I had the privilege of being involved in the creation of an Integrative Fertility Clinic where I saw firsthand that the women who were supported by both acupuncture and yoga experienced greater success on their fertility journey. The two practices complimented one another perfectly, leaving women feeling nourished and deeply relaxed. 

Benefits of Yoga for Fertility

It has been well established that yoga is good for fertility not only physiologically, but also mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. It is a gentle form of movement that is doctor recommended and appropriate as preparation for and support through fertility treatment (and beyond, into pregnancy). Extreme forms of exercise can sometimes harm fertility potential by directing blood flow away from reproductive organs and spiking cortisol levels.  Yoga for fertility directs blood flow towards reproductive organs to create a nurturing internal environment for those eggs and embryos. Increased blood flow helps to reduce inflammation, boost immunity, and balance hormones. The cycle-specific yoga videos in the Fertile Hope Yoga library ensure that women who are practicing are confident, knowing that the poses will support them exactly where they’re at. Whether menstruating, stimming, going through an IUI, IVF or FET, during a two week wait, or while on a break, there’s a specially designed practice for each stage of the journey.

Similar to acupuncture, yoga is also an excellent stress reliever. We all know that stress is not fertility friendly and yet struggling to conceive or going through fertility treatment is inevitably stressful. The breathing and mindfulness techniques that are part of yoga help to ground you in the present moment and bring you back to your calm center. Yoga has been proven to reduce anxiety and depression, which can also boost fertility. 

Fertility Yoga for All

After establishing an in-person yoga program through the Integrative Fertility Clinic - which saw a 90% success rate in achieving pregnancy among participants of the program - I decided that I wanted to reach even more women and launched Fertile Hope Yoga in 2019. FHY is an entirely online yoga studio which allows anyone from anywhere to access beginner-friendly, cycle-specific yoga for fertility anytime! Because of its accessibility, doctors recommend my program to their patients especially where other forms of support such as acupuncture might not be available and during clinic shutdowns during the pandemic. Something that I say often to my students is that even when so much of the fertility journey is out of your control, focus on what you can do for your fertility such as yoga. 

FHY is so much more than just yoga; it is also a strong community that supports and encourages each other every step of the way. Together we work on releasing fear, building confidence and cultivating a positive mindset. I am proud to lead a global community of women who are each walking their unique fertility journey but who come together through their shared dream of becoming mothers. 

There is no such thing as too much support on the fertility journey. The challenges and heartbreak are real, but so is the hope that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other. Whether it is the support of acupuncture, yoga or both, know that your amazing body is capable of so much healing and growth, and you do not have to walk this journey alone.

For more information about Fertile Hope Yoga, and to get a free nurture yoga for fertility course, visit www.fertilehopeyoga.com. 

Erin McCollough

Founder, Fertile Hope Yoga